Over at Broken Cupid there’s a post on a classic communication misstep, and the valuable lesson learned about eye contact. The story reminds us of both the link between the appearance of self-confidence and the use of simple communication cues.
My greatest lesson along these lines happened at work when an ex-military coworker called me out on my lack of eye contact. He helped me understand the importance of keeping and holding eye contact, and how it can have a positive impact on how I was interpreted, heard, and even liked.
There is also an underlying issue with these lessons, too. I had the major hots for this co-worker, and my reaction to these feelings was to hide them away. I thought that not looking at him meant, he wouldn’t see what I was feeling. This swirl of emotions can also occur during introductions as the Broken Cupid post describes.
These are the classic missteps of a Sashay Left. The interpretation of the emotional intensity in these situations causes Sashay Left to pull back. However, those who Sashay Right don’t always understand the reasons behind these actions, since Sashay Right doesn’t have any problem making and keeping intense eye contact.
So the Cha Cha Cha for these situations calls for both Sashay Left and Sashay Right to watch their steps. Sashay Left must push past her comfort zone to make sure she’s not misunderstood, and Sashay Right has to not misinterpret the lack of eye contact as something personal.
By making a few adjustments to the way we do things, we’ll sidestep Miss Steps and her Entourage.
Do you know which one you are? Find out at Four Sisters Groove.
So, let’s go with an all-male version of the Four Sisters Groove – Queer As Folk.
Now, I know as the series grew, the cast of characters grew too. Yes, Justin was there from the start, but as an addition to the core group specifically for the dramatic tension this addition brought. However, at the center of the show were four gay men. Can you identify their Sisters?
Queer As Folk - North American version
Brian = Tina
Emmett = Stacey
Michael = Gina
Ted = Katie
Do you agree?
Lately, I’ve been posting a lot of television shows as a reference for the Four Sisters Groove. Many writers of sitcoms, books, and movies use this theme to tell a story. Recently, I went to watch Mamma Mia with friend of mine, and we got there in time to watch the trailers. Wouldn’t you know it: The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants has how many Sisters? Yep. FOUR!
So, with it all around us to see, I wanted to focus on the how. How do I know she’s a Katie? Or how do I know you’re a Tina? How do I find out someone else’s Sister in Gay Relationships?
Sashay & Prink
Here are some things to remember:
- Observe.
No, he’s not a science project. However, you can train yourself to watch and become aware. Now, while you observe, do you notice particular aspects of his body language? What about his surroundings? Do you see a pattern in order or structure? Also, be attentive to how you feel while you are observing. Do you have a general sense of calm? Do you feel agitated? Your reaction can also help you understand.
- Listen.
It’s okay to be quiet, an ex of mine would say. I understood this as his way of saying he couldn’t listen any more. So, tell yourself it is okay to not respond: to hear and listen only. Do you notice any patterns to his speech? What do you notice about his voice level or pitch? Are there consistent color words he uses?
- Understand Sashay Scale and Prink Placement.
Each of these has specific key indicators for you to use to identify which part of the dance floor he likes to groove. Does he Sashay Right? Maybe he likes to Prink Up. Where is that in relation to your Sister?
Becoming aware of these will help you take a step closer to knowing where he’s coming from in Gay Relationships. Practicing while watching TV or movies for these indicators can help you better identify The Four Sisters Groove.
