Learning the skills for effective communication is like finding a great dance groove

My first boyfriend taught me a valuable lesson about Prinking when he took me home to meet Mother one Easter. I already knew we had very different Prink Placements, since I Prinked Down when he Prinked Up… way up.

This man could not go to bed without all the dishes being washed, dried, and stowed. All laundry cleaned, folded, and put away. Everything had to be in its place. That is a high Prink Placement.

On the other hand, I didn’t place nearly that high. Now, I wasn’t really a slob, but I certainly wasn’t neat, and I also didn’t take such a structured view of my surroundings.

As Mother was washing up the dishes following a delicious turkey dinner with all the trimmings, I browsed her collection of kitten knick-knacks. Noticing the tape on the back of one, I asked my boyfriend about it.

“If she can’t tape the receipt to something, she writes down the purchase price, date and time and tapes it to everything.” He smiled knowingly. Sure enough, EVERY little porcelain kitty I picked up and looked at had a tag identifying the value and origination written there by Mother.

“See,” he said. “I’m not so bad.”

Now, that’s Prink Up!

This week I’m off to the Out & Equal Summit in Austin, Texas! If you’re going look for me there and say HI! This will be my third O&E Summit I’ve attended, and with next year scheduled to be in Orlando, I plan on attending then too! Hopefully, as a workshop speaker.

This week marks the one-year anniversary of the breakup. I haven’t really talked about it here, because I guess I wondered what it would look like if the guy writing about communication styles can’t maintain a successful relationship himself? Does my inability to keep that three-year long flurry of emotions and life changes vibrant and alive reflect on my own understanding of the Four Sisters Groove?

I have always loved New Orleans, even during the sweltering heat of September, but I had to cancel those Southern Decadence plans this year, thanks to hurricane Gustav. So Ft. Lauderdale was “Plan B.” Apparently, it was a lot of guys back-up plans, since the majority of the guests I met at the Shubert Resort were also displaced Decadence refugees. Returning to Ft. Lauderdale reminded me of my goals and what happens when you lose sight of them.

Last year, my ex and I did attend Decadence, and we had a great time. We didn’t argue or fight during our trip; but then, our relationship was never marked by those flare ups. We always traveled together well, flexibly, but since we both Prink Lower, neither of us had a well-defined view of structure, and this usually showed up nicely during travel.

Following that Labor Day weekend, he decided it was time to move on. So, he made his way to Atlanta. (Isn’t that where they all end up?) However, I stayed here in Florida. I had made plans four years ago to move here, and it was during that time when I first met him. We both moved down here to live together. It seemed to be a great thing then, and I can still say it was the right move.

There are two questions you ask in life; where am I going and who’s going with me. Don’t get them in the wrong order. — Sam Keen, Fire in the Belly

Time to heal. Time to evaluate. Time to consider and adjust. A lot can happen in one year, but I realize I have to stay determined on my goals. Sure, there are those lonely times when I waver and question everything I do and every decision I make, but those are the thoughts of fear and not the strength of loving what I am doing.

Tina doesn’t have to be reminded of the goal, and for a large part neither does Katie. They have a refined view of structure that lends itself to goals and keeps them on track. However, for Gina, who does not have that strong a Prink methodology, remembering goals and staying focused can take some extra effort. So I guess that’s what this exercise is reminding me. There’s no need for a “Plan B.” I’m in the right place at the right time. I know where I am going.

Now, my question is: who will go with me?

So how about the Four Sisters Groove and Designing Women? Can you recognize them? Maybe this classic clip will help:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7MyT7utAZm4]

Julia Sugarbaker is a rather obvious Tina, yes? Which one is Gina? or Katie? or Stacey?

The Four Sisters Groove is every where you look!