Space to Be in Gay Relationships
Really listening to someone isn’t an easy thing to do, yet a major part of Four Sisters Groove is the ability to listen to a Sister to understand where she’s coming from.
Eckhart Tolle in his book Power of Now says:
When listening to another person, don’t just listen with your mind, listen with your whole body. Feel the energy field of you inner body as you listen. That takes attention away from thinking and creates a still space that enables you to truly listen without the mind interfering. You are giving the other person space – space to be.
Easier said than done, right? When we are “listening” most of the time we are really just thinking about responses. It’s kind of human nature, I think, and Tolle defines it too:
Most people don’t know how to listen because the major part of their attention is taken up by thinking. They pay more attention to that than to what the other person is saying, and none at all to what really matters: the Being of the other person underneath the words and the mind.
So, how do we get out of the mind and Be? For me, it has taken lots of practice. I by no means claim to be an expert at listening, but I have found it does make a huge difference in your relationships when you just Be. How?
- Focus on your breathing. One of the best ways I have found for coming into Being is through my belly. It has to move for me to breathe, so I focus on that. It helps me reduce the thinking of the mind and focus on my body, which helps me Be.
- Feel your toes or fingers. No, you don’t have to reach out and touch your toes. Instead sense them. Once you have a sense of your toes or fingers, “sense” up your legs or arms. Focus on your body and vibrations of it. This will take some practice.
- Seated or standing? Listening in either position means you can also focus on the location that touches. If you are standing. Sense or feel the connection of your feet to where you are. Be there. Same goes for the, uh, derriere. Sense or feel the connection it has with the chair.
These are just a few of the tools I use to help me listen to someone. Yours could be completely different? Do you mind sharing with a comment?
Most human relationships consist mainly of minds interacting with each other, not of human beings communicating, being in communion. No relationship can thrive in that way, and that is why theres is so much conflicts in relationships. When the mind is running your life, conflict, strife, and problems are inevitable. Being in touch with your inner body creates a clear space of no-mind within which the relationship can flower. – Tolle, Power of Now
To improve your listening and communication skills, just Be Sister.
