What if like Ebeneezer Scrooge you were told three ghosts would visit you? But these three ghosts wouldn’t be the Christmas kind. Instead, these would be ghoulish visits from your Exes.
Now I didn’t have Marley to forewarn me after dinner, but the Exes did appear this holiday season, and for some reason they all come from Atlanta. It’s like the final resting place of wayward Exes or something.
I was reading some books by Augesten Burroughs over the holiday break, and I don’t think I’m one of those writers who writes intimately about people around me. I try to make it a bit more vague. I guess, if my Ex or those familiar to us read a post they could probably identify the guilty or innocent, but the general public can’t identify who I’m writing about.
But the combination of reading Burroughs and the apparitions of Exes got me wondering how the Sisters would react with the reappearance of people from the past, and what is the value of it?
Now, the one Ex came back to me in an email, so we haven’t actually talked or met in person again. But I did spend some time with one over the holiday break, and I was amazed at how quickly the old habits can reoccur. You know how a relationship develops these customs and expectations. It’s the baggage that piles up while spending time together. Who takes more control of situations? Who makes decisions? Who likes to go out? Who likes to stay in? What buttons can I push?
All of these reappeared for me during this visit, but the saving grace for me was being able to walk away. I don’t have anything else invested in that relationship or anything else I want to invest in it. So, I can move that person from the “Make it Okay” column to the “Fend for yourself” column.
And for a Gina, that is an accomplishment, but a necessary step needed to be able to remain friends with an Ex. I couldn’t allow myself to fall back in the past. I had to learn from it and become a better person, just like Ebeneezer Scrooge.
How does your Sister help you handle your Exes?
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Anthony –
This reminds me of something Gertrude Stein said: “If you have not seen someone for seven years, why bother?” She also said: “Never go back!”. Therefore, adopting both as one’s motto, one has the future to look forward to …
Marilyn
I do think Gertrude was right! Better to stay in the present.
I’m experiencing that “going back” on Facebook right now. All these high school people are appearing out of no where… Spooky!
Thanks for the comment!