Learning the skills for effective communication is like finding a great dance groove

June is the month we celebrate LGBT PRIDE! All month long, there are opportunities for you to get out there and Groove!

HAPPY PRIDE!

When I host a Groove session, I make it a point to first talk about the Groove Philosophy. This is the basic premise behind why I have Four Sisters Groove and the means to function within that framework. It is the boundaries and “Dance Floor” of another type, if you will. So I thought it would be a good thing to discuss as we begin the New Year together.

1. Our Time – Our Space. It’s important to have a separate time when gay and lesbian people can have a specific time and space for meeting to discuss effective communication. In a simple example, you’ll see it in a bar, right? We have gay bars, because it provides a specific place and time for us to “be ourselves” more easily. So if that philosophy can work in a business space such as a bar, why wouldn’t it work in our effective communication training? The Groove Session does that by providing a clear space and time set apart for us to learn how to Groove safely and securely.
2. Confidentiality Agreement. Along with that safe and secure space, the Groove Session provides an opportunity to open up freely about communication skills and taking the chance on not being right or sharing some information you may not share outside of the event. For this reason, the Groove has a Confidentiality Agreement for those attending. What happens in the Groove Session stays in the Groove Session.
3. Not the First Effective Communication Training. You may recognize many of the components of the Four Sisters Groove in several communication skills training courses. This is not a new concept and goes back many, many years. (You could even say the Zodiac signs are based on four communication types, and who knows how far back that goes.) While it isn’t the first of its kind; it’s certainly way more fabulous.

With this core philosophy in place, the Four Sisters Groove provides a working session for learning effective communication skills that is safe, confidential and fabulous. Let me know if you would like to host or join a Groove Session.

It’s that time of year again! Time for the Out & Equal Workplace Summit! October 5-8 in Los Angeles, California! (Look out La-la land; here I come!)

Wow! Has it been the past five years I have attended this annual event? Time sure flies when you are having fun. My first one was in Chicago. Now that was a fun time with three different couples from where I work attending for the weekend. (Yes, I was a couple back then!)

I believe the Out & Equal Workplace Summit corresponds well with the Four Sisters Groove philosophy on providing a “safe space” for LGBT employee to learn and develop all these important skills that help continue to make them valuable assets to the workplace. (Philosophy blog post is coming, I promise.)

Out & Equal always brings LGBT leaders and also allies to inspire us. And this all occurs in a place where we can be our ‘whole selves.’ This is such a valuable resource personally, that even if it costs me, and I don’t have a company funding my way, I will always find a way to attend. (Next year is Dallas, so let me know if you need a roommate!)

Last year, with it being in Orlando I was able to share a condo with other attendees to help save money. This year, frequent flyer miles and a shared room and an affiliate registration makes Los Angeles a possibility. Thank you to Out & Equal Tampa Bay and Out & Equal for sending me.

My goals this year while attending are two-fold:

1. Four Sisters Groove Networking – Network. Network. Network. I have all my business cards ready to hand out. I have different kinds of business cards based on the opportunity. More business… more casual. Now, to get this Gina more Sashay Right is one of the main things I’m focusing on. So many of the attendees would be my clientele and could take Four Sisters back to their work for development opportunities for their affinity groups.
2. Regional Affiliate Strength and Development – Many of the same issues facing Employee Resource Groups (ERGs) are also the same issues we face on the Out & Equal Tampa Bay council. Council member retention. Interest. Value questions. Leadership development. Networking and adding companies represented. These are all subjects about which I hope to find some helpful information. The Workplace Summit is the place for it!

I will try to update here as often as I can. If you are attending, please let me know so we can meet up!

On Friday, September 17, 2010, Out & Equal Tampa Bay presented the Four Sisters Groove to about 20 folks in the audience. I was please to see the people there and especially please to see a couple folks I didn’t know.

Presenting to people is a great way to learn what areas of your topic need improvements, changes or “fleshed out.” From this Groove Session I was able to pick up some things that have been VERY helpful in me understanding what is important about the Groove and how to get it “to stick.”

1. Set Up is Key. I have to be honest and say, I kind of skimmed over the set up of the connection of LGBT folks with dancing. I know how important dancing is to our community, but I’m not sure other folks have thought about it before. The introduction is my chance to set the parameters for the Groove Session, which I did do in presenting my philosophy on providing a safe space for LGBT to practice and hone skills required in the outside world, but I could have spent some more time talking about how dancing really is a reflection of the soul, and thus a clear indication of communication. By having a proper set up, I can put everyone attending the Groove Session in the Dance Floor with me.
2. Take Nothing for Granted. All my life, I have understood communication styles. In high school, I started noticing them; in college I studied them through Tim and Beverly Lahayes (who basically took it from Hippocrates) and then the Gary Smalley version and then the Myers-Briggs. Later, I broadened my scope to include horoscopes and Jungian Theory. I see it in the writing of most TV shows when they so readily chooses four main characters to represent the four main communication styles. Yet, there may be people in my Groove Session audience who have never heard of any of those things and just watch TV sitcom, because it is funny, not because it can teach you about communication styles. Take nothing for granted and take the time to bring everyone along, so we are again all on the same Dance Floor.
3. Information Overload. Since this may be the first time some people have heard about communication styles, this certainly is the first time most everyone has heard about the Groove. It is like common knowledge to me, since I’ve been working on it, but it is something totally new to Groove Session attendees. Yes, self-assessments seem familiar and some folks may have a previous dabbling in communication styles with work, but the Four Sisters Groove has to build a complete foundation of understanding first before it can progress to help teach the steps to effective communication skills. I must take the time during a Groove to completely fill in information and make sure everyone is moving along the Dance Floor together. Honestly, I lost some folks at Crunk. (Maybe not enough of them listen to Hip-Hop music? LOL)
4. Practice Does Make Perfect. When it came time to Practice the Groove, I had the participants pair up with people they didn’t know. We had one talker and one listener for five minutes on a subject I gave. The listener was to watch the talker for Crunks, and the talker was to be him/her self. To me, it was interesting to watch the “light bulbs” go off as folks started noticing: “Hey, he really does gesture a lot.” or “She’s hard to hear.” We switched and the pairs even took off more as they started using Crunks to more effectively communicate on our Dance Floor.
5. Notes are Good but not a Crutch. Since I had so much time before this Groove Session to work on my Powerpoint presentation, I had written out my notes to where I even had <CLICK> for when to change the slides. Overkill for sure. My best presentations are always the ones I use the notes in my head and eye contact and personal interaction with the individuals in attendance.  I was afraid to “miss” something in my talk, but by following my notes to closely, I didn’t sense when attendees had stepped off the Dance Floor.

These are just some of the main things I picked up from the Groove Session hosted by Out & Equal Tampa Bay. I had such a great time doing it, and I think the folks attending did too. Now, on to more Groove Sessions!

Let me know if you want one where you are!