Push Me-Pull Me in Gay Relationships
They were both elderly and obviously had major health and body issues. As they approached the two steps leading to the entrance of the building, I watched as he stood with his walker at the base of the steps while she began her ascent. He took her arm and struggled to help her get up the steps, lifting and pushing her as she scaled one step at a time — assisting with a cane she held in her other hand.
Reaching the top, she turned as he lifted his walker to her, which she placed to one side - leaning her cane against it. She took him by the hands and strained to pull him up the steps beneath her. Then, both having reached the summit, she threaded her thin arm through the bend of his elbow and they shuffled off together.
As I watched (I was too far away to offer assistance before they had accomplished the feat) I began thinking about how long they must have been together. What difficulties they may have encountered in their lives?
I wondered if there was ever a point when they may have considered going their separate ways but then managed to work things out. I thought about what they may have gone through, based on my own relationship experiences, to get to where they are now and it occurred to me that perhaps the reason we must put up with all the struggles of a life-long partnership/marriage is so that one day, if we should be so lucky to live as long as these folks, we would have someone to push us and pull us when we need it when no one else is around.
Is it too simplistic to believe that is reason enough to tolerate what may seem to be intolerable at the time? But, doesn’t it kind of make you wonder where you will be when you get to be that old?
Maybe it’s just enduring all those difficult times that makes for a closer bond in gay relationships with someone in the end. Maybe if you can find someone who will push you when you need it, you won’t mind pulling him or her though tough times in return.
Sounds like a deal to me! May we all be so lucky to find that reward.
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