The Order of Things
This week marks the one-year anniversary of the breakup. I haven’t really talked about it here, because I guess I wondered what it would look like if the guy writing about communication styles can’t maintain a successful relationship himself? Does my inability to keep that three-year long flurry of emotions and life changes vibrant and alive reflect on my own understanding of the Four Sisters Groove?
I have always loved New Orleans, even during the sweltering heat of September, but I had to cancel those Southern Decadence plans this year, thanks to hurricane Gustav. So Ft. Lauderdale was “Plan B.” Apparently, it was a lot of guys back-up plans, since the majority of the guests I met at the Shubert Resort were also displaced Decadence refugees. Returning to Ft. Lauderdale reminded me of my goals and what happens when you lose sight of them.
Last year, my ex and I did attend Decadence, and we had a great time. We didn’t argue or fight during our trip; but then, our relationship was never marked by those flare ups. We always traveled together well, flexibly, but since we both Prink Lower, neither of us had a well-defined view of structure, and this usually showed up nicely during travel.
Following that Labor Day weekend, he decided it was time to move on. So, he made his way to Atlanta. (Isn’t that where they all end up?) However, I stayed here in Florida. I had made plans four years ago to move here, and it was during that time when I first met him. We both moved down here to live together. It seemed to be a great thing then, and I can still say it was the right move.
There are two questions you ask in life; where am I going and who’s going with me. Don’t get them in the wrong order. — Sam Keen, Fire in the Belly
Time to heal. Time to evaluate. Time to consider and adjust. A lot can happen in one year, but I realize I have to stay determined on my goals. Sure, there are those lonely times when I waver and question everything I do and every decision I make, but those are the thoughts of fear and not the strength of loving what I am doing.
Tina doesn’t have to be reminded of the goal, and for a large part neither does Katie. They have a refined view of structure that lends itself to goals and keeps them on track. However, for Gina, who does not have that strong a Prink methodology, remembering goals and staying focused can take some extra effort. So I guess that’s what this exercise is reminding me. There’s no need for a “Plan B.” I’m in the right place at the right time. I know where I am going.
Now, my question is: who will go with me?
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